Online Dating: Finding Your Perfect Partner

Dear Dr. Doris:

I want to give online dating a try so I can find my ideal partner. What tips can you suggest for someone completely new to online dating?

Rachel in Roanoke

Dear Rachel,

Avoid the trap of thinking online dating will create an instant relationship, especially if you are shy, newly single or recently divorced. Instead, approach your new adventure with a simple question: “What can I learn about myself while I’m growing into my perfect partnership?”

This light-hearted energy will help you appreciate every “human mirror” you draw into your life. Our mirrors reflect back to us parts of ourselves that we can’t perceive.

It’s so simple! When I’m surrounded by impatient people, I have the opportunity to see where I’m expecting an unrealistic turnaround time instead of quality.

When I judge myself as inadequate, I attract people who judge me harshly. When I love and accept myself, other people radiate love to me.

If you attract needy people when you use online dating services, take steps to heal your own hurts before you step back into action. Do you attract shy mirrors? Brush up on your confidence tips. Plagued by people who are “fakes?” Unveil your innate, very special light. This is Your Authentic Self.

Your perfect partner is waiting for you . . . but can’t find you if you’re masquerading as someone else. Your dating journey will be amazing when you take advantage of rich opportunities for authenticity and personal growth.

Make sure the seduction of a computer friendship isn’t a way to avoid the challenges of meeting people in the real world. If you have any fears about developing real-life connections with new friends and potential romantic partners, hire a relationship coach. We are trained to help you discover Your Authentic Self so you can attract your perfect partnership.

Take advantage of some of the free relationship ebooks I’ve written. Download your Free Relationship Ebooks at Also, make sure you receive free dating advice and relationship tips every week. Sign up for the “More Joy Ezine” at

To your relationship joy!


Doris Helge, Ph.D.
Your Master Relationship Coach

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